I am dedicating this blog post to my friend and brother-in-law Rex! For those of you who know me, or follow me on Facebook, you know Pam (my sister) and Rex are an important part of my life . . . best friends in fact. You may also know he recently passed away after a second bout of cancer.
The four of us back then, and later after my divorce from Ken, the four of us including David were friends. In spite of my moving to Wisconsin in 1994, I spent a lot of time with Pam & Rex over the decades. And in more recent years, we traveled quite a bit including trips to Florida, Tennessee, New England and the US National Parks of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado & Wyoming. I visited them often back home in Virginia, most recently this past Thanksgiving.
I've already written that COVID changed much of my thinking about life and what is important to me. Family and making time for those I love and care about became a renewed emphasis in many of my personal decisions . . . ultimately including my decision to leave BCAW in 2022. "Retirement" per se wasn't as much of a factor as just wanting to dedicate my time and effort to those in my life who are important to me And while yes, "work" and "bowling" were important, they just had lost their luster during the pandemic.
During the early part of 2020, several people who had been very important to me died. First was my ex-husband Ken and shortly thereafter, another dear friend $teve $ipe. David was caring for one of his long-time friends Marney, who was also struggling with cancer and due to COVID ended up unable to continue treatment outside of her senior living facility. When she died, we only found out about a month later, while doing an obituary search. I cried because I knew she died alone, but also thankful we had spent a lovely holiday with her in late 2019 and could treasure those memories. David did see her just prior to the COVID "safer at home" lock down, but I still think it sucks she died alone!
So back to Rex . . .
Rex was given the news that his renal cancer was back, but in new places. This came near the start of the pandemic, and with the news that he probably had one to three years as the cancer was not treatable with chemo, radiation or surgery. A pretty shit prognosis to know you are facing the end, thanks to the beast known as cancer. And a real shock too, because he had been more than five years cancer-free, a benchmark all cancer survivors pray for. Rex faced this reality with strength and positivity, and a real zest for life with his family and friends.
None of us know how much time we have here on the Third Rock from the Sun. Rex's diagnosis hit very close to home for me, not only as my sister's husband, but as a fellow cancer survivor. (I've been cancer free since my surgical treatment for ovarian cancer in 2015.) Making time every day, month and year for those important in my life, had become a renewed priority. And that included my decision to step away from my executive level position and all that entails. THAT became MY new priority.
While it was a decision that was probably building for months, it really reached a decision making head literally the weekend before an upcoming board meeting as I prepared my resignation letter to give to my board of directors in less than 72 hours. I was solid in my resolve, supported by my family and clear in my conscience that it was not only best for me but also best for my association.
When the end came for Rex, I don't think any of us were really prepared for it. He and Pam had just been in Milwaukee the month prior, and while feeling the effects from the beast raging inside his body, he was doing pretty well and getting along day-to-day. Folks that spent time with us on the WI Vintage Alleys Tour remarked after his death, how shocked they too were. For him to have taken a turn in such a short period of time (less than three weeks) and be dead a month to the day from their leaving Milwaukee, is just a hard reality to come to grip with.
All of this ties to what I'm doing now . . . today . . . living in the moment for the here and now. I cannot take ANYthing for granted. Not next week, next month or next year! And while I'm sure some might not understand my choice to take roughly 20 weeks to be away from David and my family in Wisconsin, I know others can fully appreciate the choice I've made to pursue a dream while I'm still physically able to do so.
Nothing is promised or guaranteed. In business we talk about being ready if the proverbial bus hits us (or a co-worker). And yes, that could happen while I'm out here living in Montana and working in Yellowstone National Park. But with David's love, support and blessing I am living the dream!
Here's to happy memories with Rex & Pam!
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| A Packers' Bar in Florida |
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| Dinner in Milwaukee |
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| New Year's Eve in Virginia |
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