I left Wisconsin on Sunday (5/22) heading west for Montana where I'd start my new normal as I continue to ease towards a retired lifestyle. I kissed David good-bye, scratched Lizzy behind the ears and headed off for new adventures with a simpler pace.
Driving 1,400 miles over roughly 20 hours (and two days), the drive was unlike any of my prior road trips to Yellowstone National Park. Sure, I took the same general route, this year was through North Dakota (rather than South Dakota), but my thoughts were more at peace than ever before.
You see, since 2016 I have made this trip every summer except one. It was usually right after the bowling season, when I could finally check out and away from work and people. But regardless of my intent to check out, that rarely happened during the initial drive from home. Some years, it took nearly a week for me to finally be AWAY, not thinking of work and the challenges that face most association executives . . . staffing issues . . . challenges with volunteers & board members . . . providing more and better services with fewer available resources . . . creating and sustaining an operational structure that is financially viable for the members served. As folks like the say, the reason why we're paid "the big bucks."
Some trips were actually painful to return from, because of the challenges I knew would still be there when I got home from the time away. And it only got worse with the new world order that would result from COVID in 2020. It was this reality that brought me clarity regarding my life's journey and what would soon come.
This year, however, my drive from Milwaukee wasn't like that. Rather than looking back and trying to deal with issues I knew I would soon have to deal with when I returned home, this year my trip was filled with excitement and anticipation, for not having to return to the issues and challenges you agree to handle when you are a not-for-profit executive. For the first time in over eight years, I have the luxury and comfort to finally be able to say THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM!
God does it feel good to finally say that out loud . . . for the world to hear.
Another reality check for me thanks to the pandemic was that people you trusted and thought to be your friends, or at least on your side, often cannot and should not be trusted. The past two years have left me frustrated, sad, angry, empty and defeated many times. I learned quickly, who I could afford to have in my life, and who would become collateral damage. This was most true in my work life, making it a rather easy decision when I told my association board of directors I'd be leaving as their executive director in a few short months.
During my drive last Sunday, I wasn't even out of Wisconsin when a couple of the BCAW board members called me to thank me for my time and service to the association. Those calls, as well as the handful of others received during my last week with BCAW (along with email messages) will be how I will choose to remember my tenure since 2014. It will be those people who recognized and appreciated my unwavering commitment and passion for our work, that sustained me over the years, and will continue to provide the correct perspective about all we accomplished together.
Perhaps more telling about people, and validating my decision that was time to move on, was the absence of acknowledgement from people who could not have been bothered to take a few minutes out of their busy lives to say THANK YOU. Perhaps most deafening was the complete silence from anyone affiliated with BPAA on the staff or volunteer level. WELL . . . YOU ARE WELCOME ANYWAY!
I know this comes across as bitter, but it's really not. It's simply a noted fact of life that too often people will smile to your face, grace you with shallow platitudes to make themselves feel good. I'm comforted in knowing I am a far better person than those who I had to endure and deal with for the past several years in order to do my best job for the bowling center owners in Wisconsin (and Michigan's UP).
All in all . . . the bowling people I have had the opportunity to meet and work with are some of the kindest and sincere I've been blessed to have in my life. I look forward to continuing with many of those friendships throughout my summer here in Yellowstone, as well as when I return home to Wisconsin in the fall.
Until that time, I look forward to sharing with those interested in following along, my experiences and perspectives living in a place that marches to the beat of a different drummer, where I have responsibility for only myself and my actions, and where nature provides perspective every single day on what is important and what to let go of.
And with that, I am fully letting go as I continue to enjoy the positive mojo that living in God's Country brings.
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